And tonight...Nairobi!!

We leave from Cairo tonight!! I AM SO EXCITED!!

This is our itinerary, we aren't staying at any of the lodges listed, we will be camping. I started my anti-malarial meds yesterday morning. I wasn't going to bother but apparently there is some new super-duper strain of malaria which can kill you in 24 hours so pills it is.

Kind of a funny aside here but you can walk into a pharmacy in Cairo and buy any pill over the counter. Valerie didn't need a prescription to get her anti-malarial she just walked in and showed them my bottle. Imagine the possibilities...

After a 6 hour flight we arrive at Nairobi (which is apparently also know as Nai-robbery). From there the four of us, jet-lagged and probably confused looking white people, will attempt to navigate our way to the hotel.

I think it is safe to assume that once we are on our way I probably won't have access to the Internet.

I will be in the Serengeti for Christmas morning. :)

Anyway best of the holiday season to all my friends!

The whale has been edited...

The whale has been improved upon. I think the new artistic sensibility comes from the theme of the morning after as the whale is now sporting red blood-shot eyes, and a boner. Really it was just a matter of time. See if you can spot the changes, sort of a fun wheres Waldo kind of game.

My favorite.

This kid is awesome. He doesn't do anything half way. His passion for everything is astounding. I wish I had some of his verve. I took this picture when he was goalie in a footy game, look at that concentration!

I'm just like the beatles*

When my students from last year saw me they screamed! They all came running at me, hugging me, and saying "Miss Naomi! Miss Naomi! Will you do drama with us??? We thought you weren't coming back! Look we can still do your dances!" I was so touched, it was really nice to see them all again.


*Except for the money, adoration of millions, and musical genius.

Its getting cold in here so put on all your clothes...

This morning when we arrived at school there was frost on the ground. We could even see our breathe in the cold morning air! WTF? The sun is out but there is a very dry cold that settles on Cairo at this time of year. The worst is being out in the desert. Guess where we are going after Tanzania and Kenya? The desert. Last time we went out into the Sinai desert at X-mas time it was frigid. The nights were so cold we slept in all of the clothes we had brought with us. Brrrr

In other news I hear my Canadian friends have snow...ha ha!

Total Loss

There is a brand of candy made in Holland called Total Loss. How do I know this? I spent 7 hours in the Amsterdam airport wandering around peering at things through a jet lagged haze.

So lets see where to begin...

My Aunt, Cousin and Clara the German exchange student arrived in Nanaimo on Friday. We spent the day showing exploring Nanaimo. We returned home only to discover that Jimmy had taken over the living room with some of his buddies in order to play some kind of online game. We giggled amongst ourselves, at the follies of geeks killing Zombies, as we went upstairs. Ha ha ha nerds, we laughed as we sat there watching youtube videos of the muppets (Danny boy and mahna mahna). Clearly we were much cooler. Saturday we headed down Island through Chemainus and Duncan and onto Victoria. We checked into the swan hotel down near the harbour and had dinner at the reef (go there!! Best food ever!!). That night we made our way out to Butchart Gardens to see their annual X-mas light display. About ten years ago Valerie treated Heather, Kim, Cameron and myself to the same adventure and we had always planned to go back. It was a bitter sweet evening. The lights and displays were delightful but there was a certain sadness that comes with all things related to Cameron. We left the island Sunday morning.

I stayed in Vancouver until Tuesday night when I flew out to Cairo via Amsterdam. I really like being back in the Gypt. I arrived at 2:15 am Cairo time and Valerie and I stayed up chatting until nearly 6am. I am not quite back on schedule yet, this morning I think I was awake around 4am. yesterday we went to a giant craft fair that was held at a local sporting club. To say the least it was a little strange. To be in a Islamic country walking around booths with home made christian X-mas trinkets was surreal. Some of the items on display: Italian designer knitwear, homemade cookies, Kenyan crafts, alabaster crafts, dollar store style X-mas trinkets, Bedouin jewellery, aprons made of fabric covered in ancient Egyptian designs, etc, etc. Almost all of Valerie's co-workers were there, they all had this week off in celebration of Eid.

I don't know whether or not I will get paid for doing any work at the school. There is a slight possibility I will be working with a sixth grade class for a week. I will be doing drama with at least two of the classes, Valerie's current class and her class from last year. There are a lot of new teachers at the school and they all seem pretty cool.

I have been offered a position teaching summer school again this summer and I am mulling it over.

Valerie has her sites set on positions for next year. I think the most likely scenario is her moving to Syria and working in Damascus. The owners of CISE are opening a new school there and she is hopeful they will consider her for one of the initial positions.

Exit, Naomi, stage right

Tomorrow at 6:30pm I shall be leaving. My flight routes through Amsterdam, I have about 7 hours in the airport. Usually with these trips I have so many last minute things to do and so much running around to get done. This time I have almost everything covered. I need to find some first nations cards and a book to read in Amsterdam but aside from that everything is ready. I will be in Cairo until the 19th and then we fly from there to Kenya, and then onto Tanzania from there. After Tanzania I fly back to Cairo for a few days and then home again, home again jiggedy jog. I don't know if there will be any work lined up for me over the holidays but I will be doing a stomp workshop with Valerie's class.

Funny

I know he has caused quite the fuss in Britain for his hijinks on the radio but I get a kick out of Russel Brand.

Africa!

I'm going to Africa in 6 sleeps!!!!

The new and more absorbant model

I finally have my diagnosis, I know why I haven't been well. I have a disorder that amongst other things makes my insulin levels very high. Which means I am at risk for diabetes. So now I have to start on a low carb, low sugar, lame diet. Basically I can't eat any baked goods, salt, popcorn, pizza, potatoes, fried foods, ice cream, and any candy or anything that tastes good. Which considering my eating habits means some major changes. Changes that aren't happening over night. Tonight I bought myself some rice pudding, big no-no, and I ate it all! Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I was fine but today I had a bad moment.

There are some other aspects to my disease that aren't sitting well and I am trying to take it all in. It isn't easy. I have to make major changes in the way I live my life or I could get very sick. I don't want to wallow, but I have to take some time to let this all sink in. It is one thing to yo-yo diet because you want to lose weight, it is another thing entirely to be told you have to eat a certain way or you will get diabetes or worse.

Because it has been a billion years since i last did one of these...

Your fairy is called Berry Goblinfilter

She is a bringer of riches and wealth.

She lives in fruit orchards and vineyards.

She is only seen on midsummer's eve.

She wears red, cerise and purple berry colours. She has gentle green wings like a butterfly.

Get your free fairy name here!

Poopsy McGee and Poopsy McGoo

I believe this child may be half alien, her energy is astounding.

Never trust my judgement

I talked my roomie into wearing this, at the party, earlier in the afternoon.

The knee bones connected to the something bone...

I can't believe how much I am enjoying school. Anthropology was the right choice. I am fascinated by all the biological stuff I am learning, particularly the skeletal structure. What I found most interesting this morning, as I was going through a box of human bones, is the amount of variation that exists on the inside of the body. We are all as different on the inside as we are on the outside. How cool is that? Right yes, not at all really, I'm a giant nerd. :)

I don't really have anything interesting to post at the moment. Which is probably just as well, Terry Pratchett wrote in one of his books of an ancient curse "May you live in interesting times."
Which is funny and apt because of course interesting times are always times of change and often conflict.

At any rate I will be posting as often as possible when I am in Africa. I am so excited about this trip, I try to fit the word Africa into almost every conversation I have these days.

The end of an era

Juli the German intern leaves today on a jet-plane for Brussels. I took her over to Vancouver on Monday and we spent three days poking around in a wet and miserable city.

When I got back late Wednesday my new roommate has moved in, and there was a funny smell.
As it turns out Jimmy the new roommate had to move out of his last place in a bit of a hurry so he stashed his things all over the place. Rather unfortunetly for him one of the places he stashed his things (in particular his mattress) was inundated with fish guts. Yes, his mattress was marinated in fish guts. So he got it steam cleaned with some fancy chemicals resulting in the funny smell. So my house still smells a little bit weird. Jimmy doesn't drink, he seems very respectful, and he fixed my internet.

Ladies and Gentlemen...my new roommate

His name is Jimmy, and I stole this picture from facebook. He is a theatre student at VIU. Honest to god he is almost exactly like Ryan at 19 it is a little scary.

Motherfuck!

In order to get into Tanzania and Kenya you have to have the yellow fever vaccine. I got mine yesterday along with Hep A, Typhoid, and Polio. Good times. Then this morning I got an email from my mother. The clinic will not give her a vaccination for yellow fever because she is over 60. Apparently there is a 1 in 40 000 -50 000 chance, that when injected with the vaccine for yellow fever, people over 60 experience multiple organ failure. She has already paid for the tickets. I'm fairly certain there will be some way around this it is just a frustrating process.

A cunning plan

A few years ago I watched an episode of sex and the city where Carrie had to defend her lifestyle to a married woman with children. She wondered why in this day and age we only celebrate rituals for families. Seriously, all of my friends who get married have big parties for their weddings. When people have children there is the inevitable oohs and aaahs and baby showers. As a single woman who has no impending children or wedding in the near future, I ask you...wheres my party?? So when I turn (shudder) 30 next year, I am going to celebrate it like an anti-wedding. I will have a fabulous gown, a big party and there had better be presents and friends from afar!! I know that Amber wanted a party like this for her birthday so I invite her and any other ladies of a similar age to come and celebrate with me, we will get gourgous gowns, a ridiculous cake, and dance the night away on August 25th 2009!

creme de la creme

I'm going to miss Julie the German intern. We are having so much fun together. Tonight I was sitting here innocently doing my homework when I hear this funny little sputter from behind me.
Me: Why are you drinking whipped cream?
Her: Oooh no wonder the milk tastes so strange.

So she decides that her banana bread would taste nice with whipped cream, and enters into the kitchen. We have no electric mixer so she decides to whip the cream by hand. That was about 20 minutes ago. Right now she is seated in front of the tv still whipping away. I don't have the heart to tell her its just not going to happen :)

We spent the night at Jessica's earlier this week and Julie decided it would be ok to steal some of Jessica's fancy chocolate. She is such a funny girl. When we were at the turtle she would borrow people's toothbrushes and sneak into boys bedrooms and steal their covers.

Decisions, decisions

I met a potential roommate this morning.  I am a little uncertain.  He is a theatre student, young, and comes across as a little naive.  I need a roommate and I need one soon for financial reasons.  He really needs a place to live.  

Reasons I am hesitating:

He was evicted from the last place

He told me he wants to have a "porno party" he plans to screen the full length pirates porn film.  

He is young (read immature)

Reasons I think I might offer him the place:

I have references from three people

He is a theatre geek - kind of my people

He seems nice if a little less than brilliant

I am going to draw up an agreement between the two of us and get him to sign it outlining some rules.  I will also provide him a document outlining what I will provide for him (ie cable, internet, phone).  He is less than ideal but I think he might be ok for the next few months.  

Donkey Fucker

Cloris fucking Leachman


I haven't been posting much lately because I haven't been doing much lately. :) So for the time being you are going to get a lot of random shit that I find funny.

As if anyone needed more proof that I'm a GIANT nerd

My name is BRUCE trailer.

Lingua Franca

I honestly don't know what is going on in my head. When I was in Egypt I started using Arabic words to replace English in order to improve my Arabic. Now that I am back in Canada I find myself still wanting to use the Arabic AND pidjin, what the heck??!! There are just some phrases that work better in other languages. For instance I love the Arabic word Yallah, it means hurry up, come on, lets go, move your ass. It is short, and to the point-not unlike myself. The same is true for pidjin, I have to keep myself from using pidjin phrases, but why now? Weird. So if you hear me mutter something you don't understand the next time you see me, its not the devil - I am not speaking in tongues rather I'm just a little linguisitically challenged at the moment.

Robber barons

Apparently it was a good time for me to leave the hostel, they were robbed. Laptops, cameras, ipods, all gone. The owners are not going to reimburse anyone for their loses either. Oy vey.

Binge and purge

New resolution: buy less stuff. In fact, I am going to purge a great deal of my belongings in the next little while. I'm having a clothing swap on Nov 22nd if anyone is interested and I'm going to donate a huge amount of my books so if you want to go through them before I chuck them come to the clothing swap!

I enjoy moving around, I do not enjoy lugging around extraneous crap with me. It took me one day to pack and move all of my crap out of Allan's house, why oh why has it taken me the better part of two weeks to unpack and organize? Possibly because I have no shelves. Right now the majority of my books are occupying my linen closet and window sills.

I also have a huge pile of boxes in my dining room which is slowly dwindling. I tried walking them over to the recycle box behind the mall but a security guard caught me and said it wasn't for public dumping. So now I am sneaking over there after dark on my super secret box eradication mission.

Commercial time

I am not a fan of commercials but I like this one.

Dingo?

They made a movie about Dingo, Allan and myself but they got the name wrong.

Moving

Well I am in. My new place is pretty dang cool if you ask me. There are a few things I am concerned about, for instance: what does it mean when you constantly have condensation on the inside of your windows? I don't currently have internet but that will change as of Monday.

I am glad there wasn't a huge amount of stuff to move but I do wish I had taken at least one book shelf. Right now I have a living room full of books and nowhere to put them.

Allan has sent me two emails asking for us to get together.

I am down to my last $25, but I have resumed the area so something should come up soon. I am beginning to regret telling Julie the German intern she could move in with me, she isn't paying me regular rent. She did pay for my hot yoga though $208. I thought there would be more work to be done on the place, and that just having someone there with me would make me feel safe. But I'm fine there by myself and the place is ready for someone who is paying to come and stay.

My tickets for X-mas are booked I am leaving December 9th and coming back January 6th. Anyone want to housesit?

Spectacles, testicles, watch, and wallet

Tonight should be my last night at the turtle. Should being the operative word but if all else fails I am paid up here until November first. However, I have my keys the power is on, and all seems to be going smoothly. Saturday is the big move.

Tonight I was flicking through some images posted by one of my roommates on facebook. It was ho hum stuff mostly and then there it was...at first I must admit I was puzzled,
"what the heck is that? It looks kind of like a small...oh geez"
It was one of my other roommates testicles.
I'm going to miss these guys. The girls not so much they are kind of bitchy and all in love with the same guy (testicle poster). With the exception of Julie the German intern she is pretty cool, also she is coming with me to live in my condo.

Also we have chosen our safari. We will be going to both Kenya and Tanzania which means lots of vaccinations (fuck).

New nickname

Funny that I should write a post about nicknames and then two days later get a new one. My roommate Mike has taken to calling me Chomsky, after Noam Chomsky...get it? Gnome Chomsky har har har...

Holy Shit

Julie the German intern scared the crap out of me this week. After our shits and giggles Saturday night she went to sleep it off in another room. I found out the next day she had a minor stroke, and that she has heart problems. I tried my very best to convince her to see a doctor but she refused because she didn't have medical insurance. Anyway tonight at dinner time, she had another episode and I called the ambulance. I wasn't 100% sure it was the right thing to do but one of the other roommates suggested it and I followed through. It is going to cost her $1000. They looked her over and said there wasn't really anything they could do but reassure her that nothing is permanently damaged. So for the moment she is OK, and $1000 poorer. I am shaken, I lost a friend a long time ago under similar circumstances and I am... well shaken. I made an totally inappropriate joke as she walked out to go to subway

"try not to die"
says me.

Oh dear, such a me moment.

Beatlemania

Saturday night I went out to Acme Food Co (highly recommend) with Julie the German intern. Much fun was had by both of us. We each had a martini, and then I had another one. One of our roommates Luci was rather loud the night before, so I decided that standing in the street under her closed window singing (off key and loudly) Lucy in the sky with diamonds, was a fab idea. The only person who heard us was negative IQ boy, thank-goodness.

Things are progressing with the condo I should be able to pick-up the keys on Wednesday.

Two of my roommates came into my room today to ask for help with assignments, the funny part being I could actually help.

One of the things you may not know about me

I am a huge fan of Bruce and this is one of my favorite songs.

Roommates and other fatal diseases

Last night was a doozy. I was totally beat so around nine I went to bed. My roommates started drinking around 6-7ish, and kept on drinking, and drinking, and drinking. Ten is when all is suppossed to be quiet, not so. In fact the merry band of miscreants didn't leave the turtle until 11:45ish. They were really quite loud. Once they were gone I was wide awake, so I watched an episode of grey's anatomy and was just about to drift back to sleep when Julie the German intern walked into my room. THEY WERE BACK! For the sake of being discreet I shall refer to the boys as A, B, and C, and the girls as 1, 2, and 3. Julie the German intern shall be playing herself. B and C had hooked up with 1 and 2, so A really wanted to hook up with Julie the German intern. Which is why she ended up hiding in my room. 2's friend 3 who doesn't even live here wandered into my room like a drunken hunch back demanding to know where 2 was. When I said I didn't know she lurched back out into the hallway declaring loudly that 2 was a whore, not once, not twice, not even fucking thrice, but several times. 1 tried to sleep with B but he has a gf so he slept on the floor of his own room while she slept in his bed. 2 arrived home to discover 3 and her bf shagging in her bed. And worst of all they broke into my ice cream and left it melting on the kitchen counter.

addendum

Namool, comes from Lindsie, mildly amusing. It kind of reminds me of a science fiction name from the eighties, like Goser the Gazarian from Ghost Busters.

Just for the record

I like nicknames and I like most of mine.

When I was tiny wee I was given the moniker Gnome. I like being called Gnome, I associate it with family and friends and with special times in my life. Feel free to call me Gnome.

When I was in the Solomons Peter nicknamed me Yankee 4-eyes. 4-Eyes needs no explanation. Yankee came from his warped sense of humour after he discovered how little I liked being mistaken for an American. You can try and call me this but I won't respond well, perhaps a middle finger or a pie launched in your general direction.

When I went to Frances Kelsey high school there was already a Naomi there so Mr. Carr gave me a new nickname Peg. It was kind of cute, I played a peg legged pirate in the play. I see people from that time in my life every now and then and they can't remember my real name but if I say Peg they smile in recognition. That year at the awards ceremony they gave me an award and retired my leg (like they do with athletes jerseys). I don't mind being called Peg, I don't love it, but I don't hate it.

When I entered University there was a very funny girl named Jamie who labeled me Nomi. We had a guest proff one day and we were going around introducing ourselves, he asked me who I was, and before I could say anything Jamie said "Thats Nomi and shes cute." I don't mind this nickname.

Mark started calling me Gnomes and other people picked up on it. Of all my nicknames this is the one I like the least, I really don't want to be called this. For some reason or other I find it offensive.

And last and not quite least of this non-comprehensive list of nicknames is ... Nanaimo Bar!! My grade four teacher thought that calling me this until I got ten out of ten on our spelling quizzes would be motivation to do better. Didn't work, in case you were wondering, I was rather independently minded when it comes to spelling - still am!

Crazy is as crazy does

Two rather interesting individuals residing in the hostel at the moment.

Crazy middle aged lady walks around talking to herself and random people. She once popped her head in the door of my room and started telling me how she was once a student at Harvard. According to her she studied the police while at this prestigous University and they have been chasing her ever since.

Crazy middle aged man seems normal it takes awhile to figure out he is totally loopy. During my one month stay here he has claimed to have been: a black ops specialist, a currency exchange expert, a sailing guru, fluent in Chinese, and he often wanders around sharpening a leatherman. He was picked up north of Campbell river wandering around in the woods wearing a balaclava and brandishing a machete, he was brought here for mental health treatment. He is always in the kitchen waiting to have a conversation with you so it can be hard to avoid him. Today I was wearing a snug shirt and he walked up behind me and goes "Oh, you have a big snarl in your back," and proceeds to try and kneed my back. The snarl he was referring to was my bra strap. Moron.

Well she looks like a movie star

Kiu, one of my brothers appeared on an episode of painkiller Jane, he even has his own imdb profile. Really all it says is his name and that he appeared in one episode, but not bad for a guy from the Islands. He married a danish woman who raises wolfhounds and jack russels, and sells his own art.

Hot hot hot

Today I went to hot yoga and it was an experience. To begin with I didn't think we were going to go because Julie the German intern hurt herself. How did she hurt herself you are asking...

She went jogging in bare feet (why is a whole other story).

Anyway, we went to hot yoga and it was weird. I had to drink 2-3 litres of water beforehand. I was not allowed to eat anything for three hours beforehand. Afterwards I was to drink plenty of fucking water as well. Anyway I thought it was supposed to last 45 minutes it lasted 90!! For those of you wondering, hot yoga is a form of yoga performed in a specially heated room. You sweat like a waterfall and it is really gross. It was good exerscise though. The instructor walked around using a Britney speaks microphone, wearing a bikini.

You know how you feel after a day at the beach when you have been out swimming in big waves and your entire body feels exhausted? That is how I feel right now.

An explanation

''Mad, bad and dangerous to know'' was his (Lord Byron's) lover Lady Caroline Lamb's famous assessment of him, and even today one can scarcely read of his exploits -- his compulsive love affairs with women and boys; his drinking and excess; the scandalous liaison with his half sister, Augusta (who may have borne him a child in 1814); the bizarre athletic feats; his exile in Italy and exotic death in 1824 at the age of 36 while trying to foment a revolution in Greece

Paul Newman is dead and that sucks

I got into some trouble yet again for saying something to someone when I wasn't supposed to. The problem was that I did not realize I wasn't supposed to say anything. This has kind of been an on going theme in my life.

Lets face it I'm just not very good at keeping secrets that I don't care about. If I know it is a life and death deal of course I won't tell anyone. If I know that telling someone your secret will cause you horrid embarrassment of course I won't tell anyone.

If, on the other and, I think your story is funny and harmless (and you haven't told me not to tell people) assume it will be passed along.

Also a great actor died today. Paul Newman, he was more than just a pair of blue eyes. If you want some kind of obituary go to a news site, I'm just a fan saddened by this loss.

Lost in Translation

Julie the German intern and I were hanging out and she decided it was important to do a handstand. So she proceeded to try and do so. Only she wasn't quite getting it and fell a lot. Worried about the loud bumps (it was like 9pm) I asked who would hear her beneath us.

"Oh don't vorry," she said in her charming German accent "Downstairs they are beating off horses."

This of course is exactly the kind of thing that sends me into convulsions of laughter, I had tears running down my face as I struggled to control myself. (She meant betting on horses btw).

In other news it looks as though I may be able to take possession of the condo as early as the first of October, cross your fingers everybody!!

Also I may have agreed to do a King Swing bungy jump...not sure how that came about...huh.

Jump!

Life is so much fun when you step out of your shell. I invited myself along to watch my roommates hurl themselves off of a bridge protected only by silly boots with bungy cords. It was quite the day. I am now convinced I want to try zip-cording!! It is only like $25 a go! Come on who is with me?? This is the place and it looks like sooo much fun!

In other news the soap opera here continues...and I am getting such a kick out of it all.

I'm falling for her

When I lived in Nanaimo way back in the day, I didn't like it at all.

I have to admit I feel quite differently now. The downtown core is nice, lots of cool resturants, and neat shops. I think one of my favorite things has to be the harbor. I went for a walk tonight along the seawall and it was so beautiful, the colour of the horizon and the water was breath taking. I even had a harbor seal follow me part of the way.

I'm quite happy here. A little lonely but overall content.

Roommates aka A constant source of amusement

The guys are so drunk in these pictures, well one of them is anyway. See if you can spot the most inebriated fellow? Ha ha. These are from last weekend, apparently things got far more interesting this weekend - while I was away! I can't wait to hear about the mayhem.

For Lindsie from Namool

True Blood is a series based on a bunch of novels written by Charlaine Harris. The show is written by Allan Ball the genius behind American Beauty and Six Feet Under. It is mysterious, supernatural and very sexy. True Blood is the name of a synthetic blood which means vampires can survive without hurting people so they have come out of hiding. It all takes place in the Southern states and has a cool atmostphere. I like the characters they aren't what I expected. In particular I really like Tara, the best friend of Sookie the main character. Tara says all the things I wish I could get away with saying. Sookie is a waitress who can hear what people are thinking. One day a vampire walks into the bar...

Get down with the sickness

I'm still sick. I am not pleased. To keep myself occupied I have been watching some of the new tv shows. The new 90210 isn't very good, its a shame because the writer from Veronica Mars worked on it. True Blood from HBO is interesting and I think I might be a bit of a fan. There are very graphic sex scenes though so I have to be careful when and where I watch it. The other show I am kind of into is fringe, its well done, it can be a bit gory.

Oy vey

Thin walls are not great. Last night I couldn't find my earplugs so I tried to sleep without them, which as it turns out wasn't going to happen. One of the other students was entertaining on the other side of the wall that my headboard rests against. His partner was very loud. At first they were just flirting and doing homework and she was being loud and flirty like a 16 year old, and that was obnoxious. Then they got quiet and naively I thought oh good, they are going to sleep. No. No they did not sleep. Then the ooing started, which I took to mean one of two things:
1) He had a perverted dove trapped in his room
2) His girlfriend was a really loud sexual partner.

It was not number one, although she really did kind of sound like a fucked up bird (no pun intended). When it was all over she said loudly (as if she knows how to speak any other way) "Wham bam thank-you mam!"

Petra

Remember that time...

So I wrote about our trip to Jordan and told the story of the shattered windscreen. Here for your viewing pleasure are some images.
The first picture is the two drivers duct taping the window to hold it together.

Pictures!

Finally I have been able to connect my stupid camera to my stupid laptop. So here you go some pictures!
This one is of the little girls in the Dahab who used to walk into stores and restaurants and try to sell tourists bracelets. They rarely took no for an answer.

Palin

This is very funny. It also touches on something I find really annoying. I do not agree with any of Palin's view points, I hate guns, I think the Alaskan pipeline is a horrible idea, and I think the whole notion of clean coal is about as scientifically sound as a moon made of blue cheese. That being said I am annoyed at some of the attacks on her. In particular the attacks on her being a mother while in office, there is concern she will not be able to govern properly. Several Presidents and Vice Presidents have had children while in office, why is it ok for the Father to do this and not for a Mother?

I will say this for her, I think she is a talented public speaker.

Peer Pressure

Tonight was weird.
I went into the kitchen to make myself a cup of soup and this guy asks me if I'm hungry, I reply in the affirmative shake my cup of soup and smile. He says well if you make a salad out of my stuff here you can share my dinner with me. I said no thank-you, he persisted, I said no thank-you, he persisted, I said "Hmm I think I have some cucumber in the fridge." So I made the salad, and we sat down to a nice home cooked meal. He starts to tell me about his life and how he is a recovering alcoholic and that he is going to a costume party tonight and he wants to dress up as bat-man. I laughingly say the only costume item I have is my blue wig, and he goes cool can I borrow it. So there he is trying on my blue girly wig with his long black hair hanging underneath it. He wants me to braid his hair...suddenly I had somewhere else to be. Perhaps I'm just weird but it had gotten to the point where I wasn't prepared to have a pillow fight y'know? Enough girly bonding for one evening.

Then the three guy students who live here got involved in a drinking game with two other guests at the hostel, funniest fucking thing ever. They head off to a pub and leave me there where I wanted to be chatting with Julie the German intern. Julie wants to go to the pub but doesn't want to be the only girl...sigh. 15 minutes later I'm sitting in a pub starring at the pool table wondering how I got talked into this. Julie and I played two games of pool, she won once and I won the second, so then one of the guys comes over and I think this is it, I am about to have my ass handed to me. He leans over to me and says (bragging) "I've got a fisher price table at home." ITS SO ON!! Yeah I won. HA! Which is funny enough if you have never played pool with me but even funnier if you have, I can't make the stick hit the balls in any kind of logical way.

Also I am still sick and all night long I couldn't equalize my ears so I kept shaking my head. I'm kinda awesome.

Listening...

I'm learning to listen to my body, for instance right now it is saying
"You need to slow the fuck down spend the day in bed with pillows over your damn head,stop taking the airy fairy hippy stuff and take some real goddamn drugs.

Oy

So my day has been strange. I offended my anthro proff somehow, still haven't figured that out. I've been sick for a few days now, coughing up strange goo and all that sexy stuff. Anyway I decided after my second class today that I did really need to go to the clinic, where the doc tells me, "Oh its a virus there isn't anything I can give you, just drink plenty of fluids and get some rest." Because I was feeling like balls that just got the pointy end of soccer cleats I walked over to wendy's and bought myself a frosty (which melts so its liquidy kind of). After purchasing my liquid I wandered back through the mall watching hookers use the tester make-up to apply their evening looks...hot. I love Nanaimo. I came home and one of my roomates was making himself some steroid shakes. Oh, I watched an awesome movie, Forgetting sarah marshal is hilarious!!

Mr. Mraz

I love this song!! So positive and such a fun beat.

Stoopid

I'm ill. I'm not going to go into the details suffice it to say I have a very sore throat. Anyway last night I'm laying there in bed wishing the world would dissolve into some pink fluffy place when I hear some of the people who live in the hostel bitching about stuff. It is all very highschool and it made me want to move, like yesterday. I mean the building is great, my room is fine, and the common room is cool, but I'm not so sure about the politics.

Danger, Will Robinson, danger!

I'm getting that ooh wouldn't it be nice to have a new pet vibe. Must not fall victim!!! Must not bring home new pets!!!

Hostiles in the hostel

I have my treats that I really enjoy, one of which is organic cherry tomatoes. So I bought myself a small basket of them for $4, and placed them in the communal fridge. Where some fucker took them and ate them!!! Not only that but they took half of my cucumber. LOL Small worries really but how weird is that? Stealing cucumbers and tomatoes!! Life in the hostel isn't bad, my roommate won't be around on weekends because she works on the mainland. However some evenings eating supper can be a bit daunting there are always strangers who want to make conversation and to be honest, I could give a fuck. I know, I know that isn't very charitable but for the time being this is my home and imagine how you would feel coming down to dinner every night and having 6-12 new people there. There was an obnoxious man here the other night who kept trying to sell his bread, he had bought to much and wanted to sell it. He was really pushy, I said I tried not to eat bread and he looked offended. What is offensive about not wanting to eat bread?? In the daytime the location here is fantastic, at night especially on the weekends it can be a bit noisy. Last night and the night before the clubs were really loud. I also heard someone vomiting just under our window sill, it wasn't just some small puke either it was an operatic overture to the tune of the man's entire repast meeting the sidewalk...bleah.

In other news...I am going to Tanzania at X-mas. And, I am coming back to Canada in January. I will be leaving Canada again in April for more fun time teaching at CISE in Egypt. I have to pay for the second trip which I think is fair.

I had a surprise in one of my classes, who should walk in late but Derrick!! Almost ten years to the day we began theatre school together.

My keen fashion sense

The last two days I have gotten dressed in the dark. Not only have I gotten dressed in the dark, I have had to find my clothes in the dark. So I look, naturally, quite stunning. My roomate goes to bed at 9 and wakes up at 9. We share the same damn room so I get up in the dark and go to bed in the dark. I am going to have to re-organize somehow so I don't end up looking like I just rolled out of bed every day wearing the same clothes just because I can distinguish them by feel in the dark.

We had an offer on the house in Cumberland but it fell through when the poor bastard got a whiff of how much repair the house needs. Valerie is freaking out because her tenant leaves in October. I'm trying to be understanding but part of me feels she should never have let the property get to this state.

Moved

This is my new home for the next two months. So far it seems pretty cool. My roommate is about the same age as my cousin and rather quiet, imagine my surprise to discover she is a first year theatre student. LOL I've never had to share a room with a complete stranger before but I don't think she will kill me in my sleep.

The hostel has a fantastic location it is right downtown walking distance from the Port Place mall, the bastion, the port and all the other interesting areas of Nanaimo.

I applied for my student loan early this year so imagine my surprise when my paperwork arrived two days before labour day, argh!!! I won't have access to my money until the week after next which means borrowing money from Mother, oh joy.

M is for Mistakes, Moving and Malibu rum

The latest news:

1. Allan called me and asked if we could get together to talk, I said yes but then thought better of it. I sent him a short message saying I was sorry but I couldn't meet him, he would only end up getting hurt, and to please not call me again. I felt like a heel but I didn't want to get pulled into that horrible relationship mess again.

2. Valerie may have sold the house in Cumberland.

3. We take possesion of the condo in Nanaimo Sept 31st, but we have to wait until Nov,1, before I can move in. The condo is on Harewood ave near the Harewood mall. It is 900 square feet, and I have a tiny patio with an arbutus tree!

4. I am moving back to the Island on the first. My cell is 250 668 4121. I am staying at a painted turtle guesthouse, they rent their rooms out long term for students so i will be there until Nov,1st.

Whats going on...

Phew, this past three weeks have been very busy. Where to begin...
Well Valerie arrived in Vancouver shortly after myself and we began to ponder the true nature of her finances. She owns two houses one in Duncan (where Allan is living) and one in Cumberland. The house in Cumberland has been amazing, she bought it for 30K in 1979 and she has mortgaged the heck out of it several times and it has allowed us to do many wonderful things. Now that house is in need of a lot of work, its foundation has shifted. Are we deserting this house which has supported us through hard times? Absolutely. The sucker is up for sale. We are selling it in order to pay for the condo we put an offer on in Nanaimo. Our offer was accepted last week. If all goes well (and we know how pear shaped things can go after last summers bookstore fiasco) we will own a condo on Harewood road in Nanaimo by the end of the month. The tenant will be staying on there until October 31st unless we can bribe her to leave earlier. Anyway this leaves me kind of homeless for 2 months. Sean of Sean, Sheena, and Eric has agreed to let me stay at his place for a month but two months might be pushing it. So I am contemplating going back to Cairo from Sept - early jan instead of Dec-April.

In other news I am now officially out of the house in Duncan. I was on a high when I realized I didn't have to go back there again. I got some closure, YAY closure!!! Jessica, Brianne, and Tabitha you guys are the best!! It was a pleasant experience moving with a bunch of ladies, there were no tiffs, no egos, it was very organic.

I have just finished the second day of my six day course on teaching English as a second language. Easiest course ever, and it is actually quite a lot of fun. There are no exams, no papers, and all you need to do to pass is participate. I should have done this years ago.

Jiggidy Jog

I'm back. Well to be more precise I am in Vancouver. Tomorrow I will be travelling to the island and then on the 7th and maybe the eighth I will be moving all of my things and my Mother's things out of the Duncan house. So if any of you are into some heavy lifting or just want to stop by and say hey I will be at the Duncan residence all day on the 7th. Allan won't be there, his sister is getting married on Grouse mountain. Thank-god. Anyway it gives me two days in the house without him there. I spoke to him yesterday and he is quickly begining to hate me. Oh well, I can live with that. I have a new cell 250 668 4121 - BUT at the moment it is being utilized by my Mother so if you call or text it, she will be the happy recipient. Still looking for a place in Nanaimo, have found something that is tolerable but someone else made an offer first so have to wait and see. I start my esl certification course on the 9th so it will be a quick drive by visit :)

Final Day in Dahab

Tomorrow morning first thing in the a.m. we are catching our bus back to Cairo. It has been a quiet few days. Today was weird. We were sitting there quietly reading our books minding our own business when suddenly the speaker above us starts blaring hits from the 90's. We listened to the peaches song, gettin' jiggy wit it, ace of base, and a few others. THEN they put on new country music. One of the songs nearly made me pee myself, something about how she thinks his tractor is sexy LOL!!! I am not a fan of country music, but that was funny. At the cafes here cats and dogs snuggle up to you at your tables in hopes of tidbits, the restaurateurs provide old windex bottles full of saltwater as an anti-animal device.

In order to return to Cairo we must drive under the suez canal, which isn't much to look at you can barely see the boats above. It is however surrounded by a large military presence. Lots of checkpoints and armored cars. All along the road for about a mile there are men posted in fox holes above the street in full on combat uniform, complete with metal helmets, poor bastards. I waved at a few of them on the way through they looked so hot and bored. Maybe on the way back I'll flash them, yeah that won't get me into trouble in Islamic Egypt :)

Dahab Day three

I got a baby tan!! I am now slightly more beige than I was yesterday!!! Also I sunburned my knees. I don't know how I did that last bit but whatever. I am sitting here at the net cafe watching baby Egyptian mau kittens frolic, they are so cute, but their claws are freakin HUGE! I have sent off a whole bunch of postcards today, if you want postcards and you haven't recieved any yet that means I do not have your mailing address please send it to me.

Anyway Dahab is a beach resort town built up around the dive industry and it is growing by leaps and bounds. Almost everything a vacationer could want is available here from manicures, to pedicures to moonlight horse back rides to Bedouin gigolos, its all here. The street sellers are quite pushy and it tends to limit the amount of time one might spend walking around. Today I got called a prostitute, by a police officer LOL!! I don't think he realized I knew what he was saying in Arabic until I turned arond and stared at him, he had the good grace to blush. I was dressed conservatively too, prick!

Dahab day two

I did fuck-all today. Not entirely true, I did read two books and try to start a tan. We sat by the beach in a cabana style restaurant, ordered food, read, slept, and saw some friends. It is charming here until you start to move around and then the hassles begin.
"Hello my pretty, come see my menu"
"Mama, mama, mama, bring you and your sister here for food"
"Mrs, mrs, mrs buy bracelet, why??? why won't you buy bracelet??"
"taxi? taxi? you want taxi??"
You have to smile because if you don't they try to make you smile by flirting or trying to be funny, which usually just serves to piss you off more. So smile damn it!! Business people try to become your friend right away so that when you have something to dispute or you say that the price is unfair they can act wounded, it is an amazing tactic I have seen it work in the most bizarre circumstances. There is also a gender issue, if you have a penis you get more respect. I don't deal well with that, I try but it is an exerscise in frustration.

Not dead

Valerie and I are going on a jaunt to dhab for a few days. I may not have internet access, just wanted you to know I am not dead yet. I will be in touch with you all as soon as I get back :)

Bedouin Teatime

This is the family that we took the goats to first. I was trying to be as subtle as possible when I took this footage so it isn't very good.

Baby Monsters

Some of my dancers waiting for their turn to perform.

F$#king computers

This was not actually the picture I wished to add, but on dial-up internet on an ancient lap-top, I am not about to take another 30 minutes (not kidding, sadly) to re-post. This is Abdullah the swim captain or life-guard at the school. he is very funny, we enjoy our swim sessions with him.

Going to the Pyramids baby!

It feels funny complaining about going to the pyramids. I mean for most people it is a once in a lifetime experience that is suppossed to be almost spiritual.

For me the experience is a really mixed one. Giza the area where the pyramids are located is quite dirty and there is a lot of poverty there. The people who work around the pyramids are all trying to extort money from tourists any way possible. I can't really blame them for wanting more money but their methods are pretty sleazy. A camel ride around the pyramids should cost about twenty-five pounds, but it is not uncommen to hear of people paying three hundred pounds or even more. If you take a taxi to get to the gate the people at the gate will try and lie to you and tell you that the taxi doesn't need a ticket (it does) so that they might later procure you another taxi at a higher rate and thus get a percentage. Small children ask for pens so they can go to school, the pens are later sold at market. It goes on and on.

Anyway, I am going to the pyramids today to take some pictures of garfield at the pyramids. Heather asked me to do this for a tribute to Cameron. I think it should be a nice day. Also it couldn't be any more different from my first trip to the pyramids. Valerie had hooked me up with this character who was trying to marry his way out of Egypt, he was very pretty. Still I wasn't keen on his manly-wiles. I kept showing him pictures of Allan and Dingo. Me: This is my boyfriend, we live together, practically married, see we have a dog! In canada if you have a dog that means you are serious!!!

Maadi Mornings

Stepping out of your apartment in the morning could easily give you the impression that it had rained over night. The streets are wet, and all the cars lining the avenue are dripping. It didn't rain, the boabs (building handy-men do it alls) wash the cars and wet the street to keep the dust down. Dogs can be found sleeping on the roofs of dryer cars, and cats are often scavenging through rubbish bins. Massive buses wind their way through the streets picking up international staff and students for the drive out to the newer area of Maadi where all the new schools are. As you walk to your bus stop taxi drivers drive up behind you and beep, partly to startle and partly to advertise their availability.

Along came a spider

I saw my first Egyptian spider today note: I don't like them any morethan Canadian spiders. He shook his fangs at me. He was also about 5cm long. Not huge but the fang shaking was weird.

Cheater cheater

I signed up for this camping malarky so I could use the computer all night.

Also I like kids, and the school campus is beautiful at twilight.
We have three days left of summer school and then we are going to the Dahab which is a beach town resort about 6-8 hours away by bus. We will sit on the beach and get brown and perhaps occasionally dip our feet in the crystal blue waters. We stopped at the "hab" as the locals call it once last month on our way back from the Sinai.

It was there that Mom casually mentioned to me "This is where the bombing was at our friends wedding."

Me: Oh?

Her: Yes, they found body parts on their balcony, it was very upsetting.

Of course I knew this story but I had not realised it was in the dahab. Being there was so surreal, you would never know anything had happened it is like hawaii, white people everywhere wearing next to nothing. When we went to Luxor at christmas time we stopped at Queen Hatshepsut's temple where several tourists had also been killed but there is no sign, nothing to indicate that extremists had killed several German tourists.

Male Attention
So this trip so far has been grope free. I have had a lot of hissing and funny noises and one brave soul told me I was booty-full. I was thankfull I mean one always wants to know that their booty is full. Can't be having with half full bootys. One of the male staff members told me that I looked very attractive at the grade eight graduation, that threw me for a loop. Um, thanks? It was funny because the woman he works with totally randomly gave me the exact same compliment like 5 minutes later, maybe it is just a run of the mill Egyptian compliment.

Sweat till you can't sweat no more...

Its fuckin hot here.

We are in the midst of our second week of summer school. Tonight we are camping out at the school, and tomorrow we venture forth to see Kung-Fu Panda in a lovely, lovely air conditioned building.

Bits and Pieces

Some of my favorite students
Sammo
-this little man is hilarious, I met him when I subbed for his regular teacher. It was his birthday and his father owns a trianon bakery so they brought in this massive decadent cake, it was too die for!! For his birthday he was taken to a jewellery shop to pick out an opal, he was telling me how he likes good opals with "clarity of cut." He was also chatting with me about his favorite movies, nightmare on elm st, jaws, and the exorcist. He is a horror fan, and he knows them all, he likes the part in jaws when the mans leg falls off!!! Amber you'd love him, he is so funny!

Nasrine
-Little lady with huge blond afro and missing three of her front teeth, the gap in her mouth is huge, she is just adorable and so talented and funny.

Yahia
-Tiny terror walks up to kids 5 or 6 years older than him and slaps them. This kid has no fear at all of anyone. While I do not approve of his behaviour I admire his spirit.

Yaseen
-It must be difficult being good at everything. This child is just beautiful he gets everything in one go and has a really funny way about him. He never stops chatting though which means he spends a lot of time out on the hallway :(

Carol
-always greets me by shouting my name and running to hug me. Total sweety-pie.

Wrap Up

-It was really sad on the last few days of school everything was getting cleared away and people left really quickly. I miss a lot of the teachers and students. Valerie made a really good friend in Jeanne a neat lady from Toronto, we were both sad to see her go.

-We house sat for awhile but last night we moved Valerie into her new flat, and it is comfortable, this year she won't have any roomates which is something she had been hoping for.

Summer Camp
-I taught a group of children to sing baby beluga, and none of them started bleeding from the ears, miracles do happen.

-Our kids are pretty young they are 6 and 7 year olds. Two of them don't speak english which is challenging. They area really nice group though and aside from the odd break-down, we are having an excellent time.

Whats new...

It looks as though we have found a new apartment for Valerie, it is quite cozy and the landlords seem cool. Hopefully we will know by Monday at the latest.

Summer camp is a lot of work but also a lot of fun. For Newfoundland day (its a Canada adventure camp each day has a provincial theme) I had them paint a life size mural of a 46 foot humpback. We didn't have enough of one colour so I let them paint it any colors they wanted. It is a glorious mess of colour and happy faces, and whale bits. I am going to try and post pictures.

Thursday for Yukon day we took the childen ice-skating. It was very funny, none of the skates fit, the skates were about as sharp as popsicle sticks and none of them knew how to skate anyway. There weren't enough skates for everyone so eventually they told the kids to go on the rink in their street shoes. I have pictures of a boy ice skating in his flip-flops.

I'm begining to get a bit nervous about coming home. I still don't have a place in Nanaimo and facing Allan is not going to be that much fun.

Happy Canada Day!

Well summer camp is up and running. I am team teaching with my Mother which has already been the source of a certain amount of conflict...3 days in. :) The kids in our group are 6-7 year olds. They are cute and funny, and total disaster areas. Most of them are quite spoiled and a lot of them can't even do up their own pants. Today we are painting faces, decorating with balloons, and being as silly as possible.

We have moved into a temporary place of residence. It is quite the place, Bonnie and Dan live there, Kelly and Emily have moved all of their things in because they are moving into the apartment when Bonnie and Dan leave in August, and Valerie and I are staying there over the summer. So the living room is piled high with boxes and crates. There is a television that works so I have been able to watch some movies (heavily censored of course).

Everyone from the school is gone now which has had a surrprising upside for me. While here teachers buy all kinds of souvenirs which means on their way home they need to get rid of a few things. I have been the happy recipient of all kinds of moisturizers from the body shop, manicure stuff, sun lotion, and clothing!

The heat here is ridiculous, I am in a constant state of melting. Sweat starts running down your body the minute you step out the door, and continues until you reach air conditioning.

A Sprain is a Pain...

Last night I went to help some friends move, and I thought I had walked away relatively unscathed. Unfortunately, I managed somehow to sprain my right shoulder, which makes doing pretty much anything (including the typing I am doing right now) rather painful.

Thankfully the lovely pharmacist man has given me fluorescent pink and purple pills to take. I call them my pretty pinky-purple painkillers.

Valerie and I are moving tomorrow which will be rather awkward so wish us luck. We don't have a lot to move but it is just the two of us and she has osteoporosis, and I am a gimp. We have three flights of stairs to move everything down and then at the new place three more flights of stairs to move everything up...sigh.

It is the time of year in Cairo when all expats migrate back to the place of their birth in search of colder climate, and long-time friends and family. Most of our friends from school left last night.

Crazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

So the school year has come to an end. All the classrooms are packed, and the school is empty of all little people.

Until Sunday.

Sunday is when Summer Camp begins! 85 Students and 6 teachers, it will be an interesting two weeks.

After that we go to the dahab, which is like tofino only African beach side.

Valerie has accepted another year long position at the school which means I will come home in August, stay until just before X-mas, and then leave for another 6 months. I have applied for residence housing and a student loan. Another 6 months of work at the school is a god thing it will pay for the rest of my degree at Malaspina, and help alleviate some of my debts. Also I have registered for my esl certification in August so that is a go.

phew...

Perks and Quirks

Yesterday was the grade eight graduation ceremony. It is kind of a big deal, anyway I spent most of my day printing and folding programs for the 200 guests. The ceremony was quite nice and thankfully brief. The highlight of the evening for me was lets face it, free food. There was a massive buffet, and a huge desert table. mmmmmmmmm

The school had quite the set up there were glass tables with lights in them and golden centerpeices. There was even a string quartet, the music was magical.

The validictorian's speech was short and funny. After the ceremony he came over to me and said "I am a great actor." And I was confused so I said "Why?" His response "Because you taught me acting!!"
Aaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwww
In all fairness though I only had his class once for an hour, charmer!!

Today is the last day of classes and I have very little left to do. I supervise a swim class at 11:30, will probably flirt a little with the lifeguard :)
There may be some birthday cakes arriving, or not we don't really know. Then at 1 the kids are watching a highly legal (ahem) version of Kung Fu Panda.

Little Malak, one of my favorite students gave me two really cute bracelets as a good-bye present. She is so sweet. One of the grade seven students bought me a present as well, a fork holder. LOL

Its just another day for you and me in paradise

So yesterday I went and did something almost totally foreighn to me.


I went to a MASSIVE shopping mall. The place is called city stars and it is THE mall to go shopping at in Cairo. The grade eight graduation is on Sunday and it is mandatory for all teachers to attend, and while I am not a teacher there will be free food so of course I am going. Anyway I had nothing to wear so Haley and I hopped in a cab and went forth bravlely into the air-conditioned interior. The mall is bigger than metropolis, it just goes on and on. It was another ICE (interesting cultural expereince) there is so much affluence in Cairo, and this is where all the wealthy people and upper middle class people come to spend money. There are all of the major brand name stores, and the food courts are huge! We decided to go to the Rainforest cafe because many of the students at school had been chatting about it, and when we got there we discovered a bunch of students in the midst of a birthday party. They invited us to join them and we did. The kids were really excited and they gave us a tour of the place, they were sooo funny. "Look miss Naomi, look at the toilets!!!" They were as excited about the bathroom as they were about the animatronic tigers and gorillas. We were treated to birthday cake, and then the party left before us, they had almost finished eating when we arrived. When we went to pay the bill we discovered the girl's father had paid for our lunch!!

A H&M store had opened up recently so we decided to look there for clothes. It was funny because one of the Kindergarten teachers had told me about it opening she was so excited about it, and then I had run into her daughter the same day and she had also told me about it. Who should we run into in the changing room? Virpi and her daughter!!

Not a bad day, I got two pairs of shoes, a black top, and a purple shrug. I think even Amber would approve of my shoe choices, hot pink, and navy flats. And when I got home I had a caramel milka bar mmmmmm heaven.

This morning I am going out for brunch with some friends and then luggage shopping with Valerie. We have to move next week into another apartment so if I post less frequently, I'm not dead just busy :)

Against my better judgement I let the grade fours perform their dance. It wasn't very good, they needed more practice time but they really wanted to do it, so I let them. Ordinarily I wouldn't have allowed it because they weren't ready but it was their last oppurtunity to perform something before year end. They had a lot of fun dressing up and wearing their costumes, I think the best part was watching them march through school in raggedy costumes with lots of face paint on!

Chasing Children

This is how I spend most of my days now, running down errant children and making sure they are where they are suppossed to be. The dance was a lot of fun, there was very little actual dancing but the kids all had a good time, and there were too many chaperones so we mostly just hung out.

Today I agreed to help the grade eight teacher prepare her graduation dinner, which meant a lot of running around (this time after teachers). There is also the performance of the grade four dance, which I helped choreograph. I am excited about seeing them in costume but I think the dance is going to be pretty lame. They just don't put any energy into it, no pizzazz or whatever.

Most of the teachers willbe leaving for Canada on Tuesday or Wednesday which is kind of sad. There will be a skeleton crew here for summer camp, and loads and loads of kids.

I am down to 136 pounds, my weight loss has slowed the last little while, I need to focus on it a bit more.

La Vida Egypt

We are in the last days of school now, in fact there are really only 3 days left. I am a little sad because the kids are so much fun and the teachers aren't bad either :)

However summer school is kicking into high gear and a week after regular school ends camp starts. Each of us working at camp has to come up with ideas and themes for summer camp, my theme days are P.E.I. and Newfoundland. I'm having the kids do a huge mural for Newfoundland day, should be fun.

Today I have a pretty full schedule. First thing I am teaching grade 6 drama, and then I have two periods of hip-hop, followed by drama, and tonight I am doing pool duty (watch kids swim make sure they don't drown) and finally I am chaperoning the grade6-8 dance.

Allan continues to send me horrid emails about reconciliation, and how I am throwing everything away and how I am so horrible, and why am I doing this...

Bits and Pieces about Life in Cairo
We have three or four taxi drivers who know us now and who we usually ride with, there is Magdi, Wagdi, and Georges, and then a fellow whose name escapes me but whom I refer to as Crazy hair. He comes his hair up from the base of his neck forward over his forehead, and he isn't balding this is just a unique fashion statement.

I have discovered the best chocolate bar ever the brand name is milka, and their caramel bar is freakin' orgasmic! I am going to try and bring some home with me.

The cost of having things tailored here is miniscule so most of the teacher's have copies made of their favorite articles of clothing. We went to attaba the other day to pick up some of the made items, and we had to walk through this massive street market it was amazing. Everything was available for sale there, strange exorscist-like demon dolls wearing pink teddy bear suits, vegetable magnets, high fashion shoes, strange angry Arabic music, burned corn, glasses, tea, etc etc.

Everything here is inexpensive, you can live very well off of a relatively low Canadian salary. Teachers here who are making $23,000 a year are able to save $6000-$10,000 a year. And these are teachers who do not live poorly, they eat out, take taxis, buy souveniers, and travel to other parts of Africa.

Red Sea

Went to the red sea yesterday. We spent the day on the beach, it wasn't a very nice beach but it was warm and there was a long pier that we ventured out onto. From the pier we saw a manta ray, strange missile shaped fish, a needle fish, clown fish, parrot fish, pilot fish, and not 20 feet away from us a pod of 5 dolphins. Not a bad day at all. Totally worth the strange shaped sunburn I aquired on my back LOL. I have been trying to aquire a tan and so far I just seem to be collecting more freckles.

We are into our last week at school and there are lots of fun activities lined up but little work for me. I am satisfied to roam the school watching year end musicals and plays, my time here has been so rewarding.

Party People

Last night my new friend Hailey and I were on our way too a party. This was a party I didn't really want to go to because it wasn't really going to be my scene. At any rate I have recently been accused of being Valerie's shadow, and that stung so off to the party I went. We got lost, the instructions were simple, go around the corner and flat three building eleven. We found 5 building elevens, and as we were pondering our next step we heard a loud familiar voice, it was our friend Emily (a kindergarten teacher from school). She was on a balcony above us, and when she saw who it was we were invited up for drinks, so we abandoned the search for the party and went for drinks.

It turns out Emily and her roommates were having an I.C.E. (Interesting Cultural Expereince) they had signed a 12 month lease for the very apartment we were sitting in not less than two weeks ago, they had bought the furniture from the outgoing tenants, and re-hired the house keeper. Then today out of nowhere Emily got a call from the landlord saying "Oh we rented to someone else"
Emily goes back to Canada in 13 days and has nowhere to put her things, and both of her roomies are in the same position. So Emily called the current tenants, and they invited her over for wine, and they were on their fourth bottle when we happened to walk by.

Valerie and I were suppossed to house sit for Emily and Co. over the summer, in a roundabout way this means Valerie and I are homeless as of the end of this month. Not to worry though we always land on our feet, and our friends who have lived here for awhile assure us that this is probably just a negotiating tactic.

Shrinking Pains

I am so pleased with myself, I keep losing weight. I`m losing it more slowly now which is probably far more healthy. It is hard to gauge exactly how much I have lost, because our scale is in kilos, but my clothes are looser.

Yesterday was our school play day. originally I was free for the afternoon just to watch and play but the woman I was covering for in the morning came in and told me I was working all day. So I had my own little team of followers that I took aroud too each activity. It was hilarious, my group had 6 kids under the age of 6 and no older kids, so we lost every event, but we had a SUPER time. The grade eleven kids organized things and it too a long time to get from event to event and then the explanations took too long and by the time we got started it was time to move on. So at the third station when it was becoming apparent we weren`t going to be able to play the game I picked up a bucket of water and dumped it on little Yahias head, and chaos insued. I was one of about 4 teachers who got soaked through too the skin. It was awesome, nothing is better on a hot Egyptian afternoon than a good old fashioned water fight!!!

In other news, the bird, the damn noisy bird is dead. I don`t know how it happened but I got a terse email from Allan this morning informing me that he had watched the bird die yesterday orning, oh dear. I should`not laugh but it is sort of darkl funny, poor Allan what else could go wrong!!

Its getting hot out herrrrrre

43 degrees yesterday. FORTY-FREAKIN-THREE!!
Phew. I taught a drama class in the morning and I had rivers of sweat pouring down my back, it was gross. No wonder all the Canadians go home over summer, phew!! Most of the teachers will be leaving around the 25th of this month, while Valerie and I brave the heat and terrors of summer school!! After summer school I think the two of us will be travelling to the Dahab, a summery resort place about 8 hours out of Cairo.

Today I am working half the day, which is good, better than no time at all I suppose. I worked with the grade sevens this morning and it went well, it is always nice when things come together.

Valerie spoke to someone about her finances and it has really set her mind at ease, which is good, because angry Valerie is not fun.

I'm having some problems transferring money from here to my accounts in Canada. As a result it looks as though Allan's power may get cut off...oooops.

The trots

Everybody here gets the runs. It is just a fact of expatriate life in Cairo.

When I taught the kindy class yesterday I had a little boy run past me streaming poop down his pant legs, the other teacher was like "Whats that smell?" And I was like "ummmm poop."

Kindy was fun, and I have another half day of it on Sunday. They are rehearsing a play and the children's delivery is very funny. One of the little girls is very soft spoken so the teachers keep telling them to be louder, and she isn't getting any louder but the girl who acts opposite of her has taken their words to heart.

"YOU HAVE TO GO TO OZ!!!!!!! THE GREEN CITY, GO NOW!!!! IT HAS EMERALDS!!"
Hee hee hee

Two weeks of school left to go, and then two to three weeks of summer school. This has been good, I will be able to pay off one credit card, and pay off most of my debts. The school renewed my working visa until November, so if I wanted I could stay and work here until November.

I am having so much fun here.

Pump it!

I was doing creative movement with the grade seven class this morning and I was amazed at the difference between their scenes and the scenes the grade four students had created previously. The grade fours were much more creative and far better thought out, I think it must be hormones and inhibitions that creep in with age.

Turns out other teachers are going to cover for the music teacher who left. I love working with the kids and wish I could stay on here next year.

Tomorrow and Sunday I am going to be teaching kindergarten...yikes! Should be fun and I will have two class assistants which is good.

Allan is vacillating between forgiving me and hating me with every email he sends, poor guy this must be tough for him. I think I mourned the death of this relationship too long ago to be much affected by it now.

I get by with a little help from my friends...

I just want to take a second here and say thanks to all of you!! You have been very supportive through a strange time, and you are all amazing!!

Anyway more news on my strange life...

Yesterday the poor beleagured music teacher had a massive breakdown and quit the week before the annual music concert. I'm not quite sure what this will mean to me but I am pretty sure it will result in more on-call work. Next week I already have three days booked, one with kindergarten (yikes), one with grade one and one with highschool art.

We don't have access to tv here, so I have been catching up on a lot of reading which is nice. Anyone have any book suggestions they want to share?

I don't have a lot of ways to practice escapism here, so I have been spending a lot of times mulling things over, and I feel much healthier than I was when I left Canada. I have lost 13 pounds!!

Registration for summer school is going well and it looks as though it will run for 3 weeks, I know I am hired for sure for two weeks but I have to wait to find out about the final week.


Allan and I spoke on the phone and it was horrible. He still wants us to be together and I am not going back. I heard from my friend that he is getting relationship advice from Mark of all people. He is moving all of my things out into the garage which is a bit dismaying considering it is a neighbourhood cat hang-out and my things might reek of cat piss when I get home. I am also concerned that things will get broken, but I'm trying to let it all go. I am here, he is there, not much I can do.

Cairo Quirks
-you have to pay an Egyptian pound to use public restrooms, and you have to take your own toilet paper.
-You can't flush toilet paper it backs up the horrible plumbing
-Egyptian Watermelon refrigerated is a gift from the gods, seriously it is the best thing I have ever tasted!!!

Climb Every Mountain

I climbed Mt.Sinai this weekend.

We ledt Cairo Thursday evening and took an eight hour bumpy bus ride out into the Sinai desert. We stayed at a great little place called Fox Camp where the local Bedouin manage a hostel/desert camp for budget travellers. The man in charge is Valerie's contact for the Bedouin, his name is Farag. Farag looks like a Bedouin version of David Hasselhoff, its weird.

Anyway the first day we went out and met up with families that Valerie and her goat program has provided goats for, and it was incredible. The goats make such a difference in the lives of these people.

Later that afternoon we went out to the St. Catherine's monastary, home of the famed burning bush and Moses' well.

And then in a fit of insanity I got up at 2am and climbed Mt.Sinai. It was amazing. When you climb the mountain you go with a guide, and they take you up one of many different routes to the apex. Anyway my guide was an ass, he walked too quickly and was impatient with my asthma, while trying to keep up with him I slipped fell, bruised my bottom, my pride, and now my tailbone really smarts. Anyway the reason we left at 2am was because that allowed us enough time to arrive t the top in time to watch the sun rise, which was glorious.

And then I lost my guide.

Which was awesome because as previously mentioned...ass!! Anyway I picked a route followed it and made my own way down the mountain and through the valley back to Fox Camp, when I got back I was on a high for the rest of the day, just an amazing experience. When I arrived at school this morning one of the kids asked me what I did over the weekend
Me: Climbed a mountain!!

I am going to call Allan tonight, he keeps sending me emails about working it out but I am so over this whole scenario!!

Inner Peace

This week I have worked three and a half days which is fantastic. Today I had the day off so I went to school anyway and did a few drama classes. This weekend we are going out to the Sinai desert to climb the mountain and buy some goats for the Bedouin children.

It has been a really crazy few days. I am sure by now most of you have picked up on the fact that I am listed as single on facebook. I broke up with Allan and while I'm not proud of my way of going about it, it does feel like the right choice.
The next morning I awoke to a horrible throat infection, and 22 emails from Allan. Argh.

Anyway it has been a really nice week, and I am happy with myself. I have lost a total of 11 pounds since I first arrived, people are beginning to notice and it feels really good.

I know a large amount of the students in the school now because I have worked with almost every grade. I hope when I am certified I will have a chance to come back to this school.

I don't know when I am coming home. Valerie might fly out of Cairo right after Summer School to teach in Hong Kong for two weeks, if she does that I might go with her or fly home to Canada early. Another possibility is for me to stay on here for another year and work as I have been doing.

I think of you all frequently and wish that you were here!

Bits and Pieces

I have been doing very well. Last week I taught 4 out of 5 days. On the day when I wasn't paid to teach I taught three drama classes. Our work weeks in Egypt go from Sunday to Thursday it is a little hard to get used to at first. Had a funny moment yesterday when I was subbing for the grade four teacher. One of the darling girls wandered up to a grade 9 student and said "I will kick you till you bleed!!" Nice.

This Saturday is the big Spring Fling, our school's massive bazaar. I will be supervising the pony ride tent. There is a genuine Egyptian pop star coming to play at the school I think his name is Remy Habra.

Cairo Quirks
Taxis are very cheap here it costs about $50 pounds to drive around for an hour and a half which translates to $10 Canadian.
You are expected to tip everyone for everything.
The hot water that comes out of the hot water tap is almost boiling there is no burn protection.
The metro (subway) has a special car designated just for women, that men are not allowed to ride on.

Onward and upward

Everything is going well right now. I have 2 and a half days scheduled for next week and I am subbing tomorrow. I have been teaching drama to most of the intermediate grades and it has been so much fun. All the primary kids now know me as "The drama teacher" and they wave and say hi, and then ask me when they have drama next. It is a nice feeling and it is nicer than say being known as the math teacher :)

Wish you were all here !!

The latest

I have worked every day since the dreaded grade 10 incident. I have taught grades 1,3,4,7,9,10,11, and 12. I think the funniest class was probably the grade 12 physics class, I was so lost luckily they needed no help from me. I worked with the grade 10s again this morning and it was ok. The two demon spawn did not show up (thank you god!!). I kept a sense of humor and I think I may have turned a corner with them. The reason I was teaching them today was because they sent their science teacher into a stress related break-down.

I am beginning to relax a bit and just enjoy the fact that I am in Egypt. We went for a felluca ride last night and it was wonderful, we were on the nile!

Restraint

Those of you who have had the pleasure (hah) of knowing me for many years, may know about my lack of tact or restraint and some have gone so far as to suggest I may have a potty mouth.

Yesterday I had three high school classes to instruct because the English/history teacher was home ill. My first class was the grade 9s who have a reputation for being little shits. They weren't bad, not great but I could deal with them. The second class was fine no problems there. The final class, I was warned about by the students in my first class.

Let me say here that I think I am a patient person it takes a lot for me to really lose my temper. I am a potty mouth but it is usually in the context of a joke, or merely voicing an opinion.

Anyway the grade 10s were bad. BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD. I was told to call the principal if there was misbehaving, I didn't really want to do that because once you surrender your authority it is hard to get it back. But as a supply teacher I have no follow up abilities with the kids and they pretty much ignored me so I called the principal...no answer. I waited a little while and called again, no answer. I was stuck with these kids in a room for 80 minutes, while they pretty much did whatever they wanted. They drummed on desks, the sang, they played soccer, and one of them showed up half way through with a big envelope which he opened and shared with the rest of the class "Ahmed is often disruptive in class..." NO SHIT!!! No sooner did I stop them from doing one stupid thing, then they started doing something worse. They were given an assignment to finish by th end of class, and only 5 of the 14 handed it in. I was told after the fact that there are 5 boys in that class that would have been expelled in any other school but because the school needs a certain number of highschool kids they keep them in strictly for the cash. The culminating event of the afternoon was having the soccer ball thrown at my head. I kept that ball, and holy shit you wouldn't believe the histrionics that caused! "Oh miss they will kick me off my team!!!" "Miss why are you being so mean??" "Miss we didn't do anything wrong!"
The last one came from Omar who had been as gross as he could possibly be all afternoon long. I lost it I went up one side of him and down the other and I didn't swear which took a great deal of restraint. I was going to write out a list of the misbehaving assholes but decided I should instead write a list of those who behaved because that was only 4 names.

I want to teach them again. Not for revenge or because I am a masochist but I want to go back to show them that they didn't get the best of me. I didn't get personal with any of them, I repremanded them for their behaviour and told them there were consequences for behaving that way. It was a challenge and it was what I needed.