Donkey Fucker

Cloris fucking Leachman


I haven't been posting much lately because I haven't been doing much lately. :) So for the time being you are going to get a lot of random shit that I find funny.

As if anyone needed more proof that I'm a GIANT nerd

My name is BRUCE trailer.

Lingua Franca

I honestly don't know what is going on in my head. When I was in Egypt I started using Arabic words to replace English in order to improve my Arabic. Now that I am back in Canada I find myself still wanting to use the Arabic AND pidjin, what the heck??!! There are just some phrases that work better in other languages. For instance I love the Arabic word Yallah, it means hurry up, come on, lets go, move your ass. It is short, and to the point-not unlike myself. The same is true for pidjin, I have to keep myself from using pidjin phrases, but why now? Weird. So if you hear me mutter something you don't understand the next time you see me, its not the devil - I am not speaking in tongues rather I'm just a little linguisitically challenged at the moment.

Robber barons

Apparently it was a good time for me to leave the hostel, they were robbed. Laptops, cameras, ipods, all gone. The owners are not going to reimburse anyone for their loses either. Oy vey.

Binge and purge

New resolution: buy less stuff. In fact, I am going to purge a great deal of my belongings in the next little while. I'm having a clothing swap on Nov 22nd if anyone is interested and I'm going to donate a huge amount of my books so if you want to go through them before I chuck them come to the clothing swap!

I enjoy moving around, I do not enjoy lugging around extraneous crap with me. It took me one day to pack and move all of my crap out of Allan's house, why oh why has it taken me the better part of two weeks to unpack and organize? Possibly because I have no shelves. Right now the majority of my books are occupying my linen closet and window sills.

I also have a huge pile of boxes in my dining room which is slowly dwindling. I tried walking them over to the recycle box behind the mall but a security guard caught me and said it wasn't for public dumping. So now I am sneaking over there after dark on my super secret box eradication mission.

Commercial time

I am not a fan of commercials but I like this one.

Dingo?

They made a movie about Dingo, Allan and myself but they got the name wrong.

Moving

Well I am in. My new place is pretty dang cool if you ask me. There are a few things I am concerned about, for instance: what does it mean when you constantly have condensation on the inside of your windows? I don't currently have internet but that will change as of Monday.

I am glad there wasn't a huge amount of stuff to move but I do wish I had taken at least one book shelf. Right now I have a living room full of books and nowhere to put them.

Allan has sent me two emails asking for us to get together.

I am down to my last $25, but I have resumed the area so something should come up soon. I am beginning to regret telling Julie the German intern she could move in with me, she isn't paying me regular rent. She did pay for my hot yoga though $208. I thought there would be more work to be done on the place, and that just having someone there with me would make me feel safe. But I'm fine there by myself and the place is ready for someone who is paying to come and stay.

My tickets for X-mas are booked I am leaving December 9th and coming back January 6th. Anyone want to housesit?

Spectacles, testicles, watch, and wallet

Tonight should be my last night at the turtle. Should being the operative word but if all else fails I am paid up here until November first. However, I have my keys the power is on, and all seems to be going smoothly. Saturday is the big move.

Tonight I was flicking through some images posted by one of my roommates on facebook. It was ho hum stuff mostly and then there it was...at first I must admit I was puzzled,
"what the heck is that? It looks kind of like a small...oh geez"
It was one of my other roommates testicles.
I'm going to miss these guys. The girls not so much they are kind of bitchy and all in love with the same guy (testicle poster). With the exception of Julie the German intern she is pretty cool, also she is coming with me to live in my condo.

Also we have chosen our safari. We will be going to both Kenya and Tanzania which means lots of vaccinations (fuck).

New nickname

Funny that I should write a post about nicknames and then two days later get a new one. My roommate Mike has taken to calling me Chomsky, after Noam Chomsky...get it? Gnome Chomsky har har har...

Holy Shit

Julie the German intern scared the crap out of me this week. After our shits and giggles Saturday night she went to sleep it off in another room. I found out the next day she had a minor stroke, and that she has heart problems. I tried my very best to convince her to see a doctor but she refused because she didn't have medical insurance. Anyway tonight at dinner time, she had another episode and I called the ambulance. I wasn't 100% sure it was the right thing to do but one of the other roommates suggested it and I followed through. It is going to cost her $1000. They looked her over and said there wasn't really anything they could do but reassure her that nothing is permanently damaged. So for the moment she is OK, and $1000 poorer. I am shaken, I lost a friend a long time ago under similar circumstances and I am... well shaken. I made an totally inappropriate joke as she walked out to go to subway

"try not to die"
says me.

Oh dear, such a me moment.

Beatlemania

Saturday night I went out to Acme Food Co (highly recommend) with Julie the German intern. Much fun was had by both of us. We each had a martini, and then I had another one. One of our roommates Luci was rather loud the night before, so I decided that standing in the street under her closed window singing (off key and loudly) Lucy in the sky with diamonds, was a fab idea. The only person who heard us was negative IQ boy, thank-goodness.

Things are progressing with the condo I should be able to pick-up the keys on Wednesday.

Two of my roommates came into my room today to ask for help with assignments, the funny part being I could actually help.

One of the things you may not know about me

I am a huge fan of Bruce and this is one of my favorite songs.

Roommates and other fatal diseases

Last night was a doozy. I was totally beat so around nine I went to bed. My roommates started drinking around 6-7ish, and kept on drinking, and drinking, and drinking. Ten is when all is suppossed to be quiet, not so. In fact the merry band of miscreants didn't leave the turtle until 11:45ish. They were really quite loud. Once they were gone I was wide awake, so I watched an episode of grey's anatomy and was just about to drift back to sleep when Julie the German intern walked into my room. THEY WERE BACK! For the sake of being discreet I shall refer to the boys as A, B, and C, and the girls as 1, 2, and 3. Julie the German intern shall be playing herself. B and C had hooked up with 1 and 2, so A really wanted to hook up with Julie the German intern. Which is why she ended up hiding in my room. 2's friend 3 who doesn't even live here wandered into my room like a drunken hunch back demanding to know where 2 was. When I said I didn't know she lurched back out into the hallway declaring loudly that 2 was a whore, not once, not twice, not even fucking thrice, but several times. 1 tried to sleep with B but he has a gf so he slept on the floor of his own room while she slept in his bed. 2 arrived home to discover 3 and her bf shagging in her bed. And worst of all they broke into my ice cream and left it melting on the kitchen counter.

addendum

Namool, comes from Lindsie, mildly amusing. It kind of reminds me of a science fiction name from the eighties, like Goser the Gazarian from Ghost Busters.

Just for the record

I like nicknames and I like most of mine.

When I was tiny wee I was given the moniker Gnome. I like being called Gnome, I associate it with family and friends and with special times in my life. Feel free to call me Gnome.

When I was in the Solomons Peter nicknamed me Yankee 4-eyes. 4-Eyes needs no explanation. Yankee came from his warped sense of humour after he discovered how little I liked being mistaken for an American. You can try and call me this but I won't respond well, perhaps a middle finger or a pie launched in your general direction.

When I went to Frances Kelsey high school there was already a Naomi there so Mr. Carr gave me a new nickname Peg. It was kind of cute, I played a peg legged pirate in the play. I see people from that time in my life every now and then and they can't remember my real name but if I say Peg they smile in recognition. That year at the awards ceremony they gave me an award and retired my leg (like they do with athletes jerseys). I don't mind being called Peg, I don't love it, but I don't hate it.

When I entered University there was a very funny girl named Jamie who labeled me Nomi. We had a guest proff one day and we were going around introducing ourselves, he asked me who I was, and before I could say anything Jamie said "Thats Nomi and shes cute." I don't mind this nickname.

Mark started calling me Gnomes and other people picked up on it. Of all my nicknames this is the one I like the least, I really don't want to be called this. For some reason or other I find it offensive.

And last and not quite least of this non-comprehensive list of nicknames is ... Nanaimo Bar!! My grade four teacher thought that calling me this until I got ten out of ten on our spelling quizzes would be motivation to do better. Didn't work, in case you were wondering, I was rather independently minded when it comes to spelling - still am!

Crazy is as crazy does

Two rather interesting individuals residing in the hostel at the moment.

Crazy middle aged lady walks around talking to herself and random people. She once popped her head in the door of my room and started telling me how she was once a student at Harvard. According to her she studied the police while at this prestigous University and they have been chasing her ever since.

Crazy middle aged man seems normal it takes awhile to figure out he is totally loopy. During my one month stay here he has claimed to have been: a black ops specialist, a currency exchange expert, a sailing guru, fluent in Chinese, and he often wanders around sharpening a leatherman. He was picked up north of Campbell river wandering around in the woods wearing a balaclava and brandishing a machete, he was brought here for mental health treatment. He is always in the kitchen waiting to have a conversation with you so it can be hard to avoid him. Today I was wearing a snug shirt and he walked up behind me and goes "Oh, you have a big snarl in your back," and proceeds to try and kneed my back. The snarl he was referring to was my bra strap. Moron.