Roommates and other fatal diseases

Last night was a doozy. I was totally beat so around nine I went to bed. My roommates started drinking around 6-7ish, and kept on drinking, and drinking, and drinking. Ten is when all is suppossed to be quiet, not so. In fact the merry band of miscreants didn't leave the turtle until 11:45ish. They were really quite loud. Once they were gone I was wide awake, so I watched an episode of grey's anatomy and was just about to drift back to sleep when Julie the German intern walked into my room. THEY WERE BACK! For the sake of being discreet I shall refer to the boys as A, B, and C, and the girls as 1, 2, and 3. Julie the German intern shall be playing herself. B and C had hooked up with 1 and 2, so A really wanted to hook up with Julie the German intern. Which is why she ended up hiding in my room. 2's friend 3 who doesn't even live here wandered into my room like a drunken hunch back demanding to know where 2 was. When I said I didn't know she lurched back out into the hallway declaring loudly that 2 was a whore, not once, not twice, not even fucking thrice, but several times. 1 tried to sleep with B but he has a gf so he slept on the floor of his own room while she slept in his bed. 2 arrived home to discover 3 and her bf shagging in her bed. And worst of all they broke into my ice cream and left it melting on the kitchen counter.